Awesomeness

Now and again ReveLife will actually post something that nearly everyone agrees on and that doesn't spark an angry fight between philosophically differing groups.
Here is one: "Things People Like to Tell Singles" The girl, 29 years old (I feel better already!), added her own snarky responses to the common "lines" we get.

1. When you stop looking, it'll happen. (Do I need to poke my eyes out?)
2. When you are content in God, He will bring you a spouse. (Are you always content with YOUR husband? Until you are, God won't bring you better one!)/ (I want to tell a starving person that when they're content being hungry, God will send them food.)
3. When you stop idolizing marriage, God will allow you to be married. (cuz God gives spouses as doorprizes)
4. Don't look for the right one - be the right one. (Apparently, I am the wrong one right now.)
6. God is your husband. (Really? Can I be His stay-at-home wife?)
7. Better to marry than to burn... (I am aware. I burn EVERY day. Go get the extinguisher. I'll try not to use it on your head)
8. Jesus and Paul were single. (Jesus died at 33. Is that my fate too?)
9. Enjoy the gift of singleness (a.k.a selfishness) while you can. (I'll be happy to do a gift exchange...you can enjoy my carefree life and I'll take guiltfree sex.)
10. Have you ever considered being a missionary? (so you just wanna ship me off eh?)
11. It's great that you are single-you can do so much more for God. (Indeed. You aren't doing anything for Him.)
12. You are going to 'find' that special someone soon. (Is he lost? Do I need a map?)
15. Don't worry, he's out there! (Where? In the Dryer-Sock Abyss?)
17. Have you ever considered that your standards are too high? You're never going to find the perfect person and you're not getting any younger. (breathing, Christian, tall, nonsmoker, non-divorced, non-baby daddy...too high you say?)
19. You're just so awesome, God needs time to mold a guy into someone awesome enough to be with you (He's the God of the Universe - he can make the world in 6 days, but he can't get me a man in 30 yrs?)
20. You know marriage isn't as easy as it looks... (*gasp* no! really?! guess what - neither is 30 yrs of singleness/no sex.)