So. The NY cartoon that apparently came out several days(?) ago that I, in my happy oblivion, managed to miss because I've sworn off reading the news (....ok, no need to go there....). I have a couple points I'd like to make.
1. Cartoons are stupid. Even the road runner. They're stupid. Please stop drawing them.
2. Political cartoons are ugly. No one every puts any real time or effort into drawing them.
3. Does anyone actually read the political cartoons? Apparently so...
4. People like it when you are racist.
What? This may not make any sense to you and frankly it doesn't make any sense to me either, but hear me out.
People like it when you are racist because they can get all indignant over it and, let's face it, society doesn't really approve of you getting indignant over anything else. So when someone is racist it's an opportunity to release all your pent up indignance at everything else in the world.
And that's fine, whatever, it's cathartic.
But what is not fine is that people get angry when you are not racist. That's right. They do. Trust me, because it's happened to me.
Story time!
So UF has this emergency texting system that they can use if there's a hurricane or someone starts picking people off with a sniper rifle from the bell tower. And some moron who helped put the system in got drunk and though it would be funny to show his friends that he still had access to it because UF never changed the default passwords (stupid).
Long story short: he would up sending out a school-wide text saying "The monkey got out of the cage."
Weird, right? Turns out it's a thing from Family Guy, but since I'd never seen Family Guy let alone this one episode, I just thought someone was being an idiot and deleted it.
Imagine my surprise at clinicals the next day when everyone is in an uproar over the text.
I was thinking Ok, I understand if you don't have free texting, but come on, I know you guys and I think we've all texted before. What's the big deal? Were you sleeping when it came in and it woke you up?
And then they say how appallingly racist it was.
And my head starts to spin in about 5 different directions. Did I misread it? Was there more than one text? Is it the same text? ???????????????????
Well Mattie sees my face and asks me what's wrong. I sheepishly confess I don't get it and she drills me with the same stare I've seen her give countless nurses and professors she's deemed as moronic. "It was about the election."
Oh right, I forgot that part of the story. Must have been because my life doesn't revolve around American politics and I'd watched a movie and gone to bed the night before, already having completely forgotten it was the inauguration. (And right there it took me 3 minutes to remember if it was the inauguration or the election. Inauguration. ...I think...)
Back to the story:
"It was about the inauguration."
"What? How?"
Mattie all but rolls her eyes at me while people around me start making faces and rude remarks about my intelligence. "Because. He's. Black."
Gee, thanks Mattie, I never realized. It was starting to click, but still I was a little lost. "Oooookay, but how did you know that's what they meant?" I mean, if I texted "The cockatoo got out of the cage" no one would have snowballs chance in hell of figuring out I meant him. How on earth did everyone but me get on the same wavelength as creepy anonymous texter dude?
"Because that's what people call black people." Now Mattie has to fix that. "Racist people. It's racist. Racist people say that."
Again, gee thanks for assuming I'm stupid just because I don't keep up to date on the latest racist lingo. Time for me to try and explain my apparent blithering idiot-ness before someone suggests I shouldn't be allowed to care for patients today. "Oh. I never heard that before."
Dead silence.
Then, in an incredibly patronizing tone of voice "Oh, Michelle." Mattie again. (Please keep in mind that Mattie and I actually always get along)
Now I'm defensive. "What?!"
"You're just so..." Mattie shook her head.
She never did finish that.
And so I was quite irritated.
Somehow I was the ignorant moron just because I don't listen to raging lunatics when they start spouting their racist ideology.
And here's where the recent freak-out over the cartoon has shoved me over the edge of insanity: if it hadn't been for the aforementioned public display of embarasment over my lack of racist vocabularly, I never (in a bazillion years) would've realized that cartoon could ever be seen as racist (I wouldn't have gotten it, much like I still don't what they were trying to say if it wasn't racially motivated, but I wouldn't have thought it was racist either).
And there are tons of people out there screaming about how if you don't think it's racist then you're racist.
Bullshit.
I hate false dichotomies and that's what this is. That sort of statement says you can only fit in one of two categories: Either #1 you think it's racist, so you're not OR #2 you don't think it's racist, so you are racist.
Except there's at least two other options as well: #3 you think it's racist and you are also racist AND #4 you don't think it's racist and you're not racist either.
So here's a rant of my own:
Just because I didn't know that there are people rude enough to call black people monkeys does not mean I am racist. Sheltered? Perhaps. Non-observant? Most likely. Racist? No! Because if I saw someone walk up to a black person and call them a monkey......I might be in jail (See? Anger issues.)
I am so sick and tired of everyone going on and on and on about how everyone is racist. I agree that racism is FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR from dead in this nation. But it gets me so riled up to be covered by some stupid blanket statement.
I don't care if you're just hyperbolizing/exaggerating for effect: I'm offended that you're grouping me in with a bunch of racist idiots. And you would be too, if the situation were reversed.
In these situations I always feel like I will never be good enough becase I am not dark skinned. Not that I got any choice in my genetics.
I understand that America has a shitty reputation because of slavery and resistance to the civil rights movement, but you know what? I wasn't around in the 1800s. If I had, I'd have owned a nice chunk of the underground railroad (we actually played that as kids and I always pretended I had a rifle and I was in charge of chasing and murdering the slave hunters....I was a violent child, even without being allowed to watch TV...).
And my ancestors weren't here either, they were all still over in the old world.
Speaking of ancestors, my great-grandfather risked his life to help Jews escape from nazi Germany before he immigrated here.
I think it's cool.
You know what the kids in my 5th grade class thought? That since I was from German blood they could call me a Nazi. Yeah. It was sort of a cruel nickname they used to tease me.
Which, btw, is also racism.
You know what I did? I didn't go home and cry, or tattle to my mom, or write a big long blog about how racist everyone in my entire town was racist because a few kids decided to call me a Nazi and throw things at me (even though I'd venture to say the majority of my town probably was racist). No. I told them they were stupid, rolled my eyes, and then ignored them.
A couple months later it was heritage week. We all had to stand up and tell where our ancestors were from. And my tormenters all found out they were part German too.
I just sat there and smirked.
Of course, I was also the freak who thought pretending to track down slave traders was a great make-believe game. So, you know, I'm a little bit "different."
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