Who I am

The other day at work one of the girls was shopping for a new car online.
Me: I have a Yaris and I love it.
Jessica: Oh Elle, you would.
Me: What's that supposed to mean?
Jessica: Just that I can totally see you in a Yaris.
Me: I wanted the bright blue hatchback...
Jessica: You would, don't you think so?
Cindy: Yeah, you're so cute Elle.

Now, had Jessica not been a nurse that -- how to put this gently -- I am not particularly close to, I might not have even noticed. But it dawned on me that I get this response a lot at work.

Dave: Wanna trade? What did you bring for lunch?
Me: Uhhh, I have yogurt, hummus, carrots, an apple and string cheese.
Marsha: Of course you do.

*insert story detailing someone's most recent escapades ending in a joke of some kind*
Coworker: Come on, Elle, it's funny!
Me: I'm sure it is.
DP: She doesn't get it, Elle doesn't do things like that, she's a good girl.
(sidenote: DP is often wrong about the things he thinks I don't do or don't understand)

Apparently my stereotype at work is "perfect little girl." I drive a cute tiny car, I eat healthy food, rarely ever drink, don't understand raunchy jokes, and I think Joe, DP and Duffy sometimes compete for who can make me blush first. Not that I really mind this stereotype. I spent all my school years being the youngest person in class and have thus always felt more comfortable in the "little sister" role at work.

But that conversation plus another blog post mentioning bobos again got me to thinking: what kind of person am I and what kind of person do I want to be? This is always tough because I don't really fit into categories. There is just always something missing.

For instance, people always ask if I'm a vegetarian. It would be so much easier if I were. So much harder to explain "No, I just don't eat a lot of meat. Usually. I mean, I like chicken and fish like salmon or tuna. And sometimes a hamburger or sausage depending on how it's made. I eat turkey at thanksgiving and hot dogs maybe twice a year. But usually I just don't eat meat."

People like categories because it saves them the time of having to talk to you and get to know you. Like the guy at Lowes last month. I'm picking out paint and talking about how I have been trying to kill the English Ivy in my little garden and how I'm hoping the Roundup in my cart will help and the paint guy suddenly launches into how much greener it is to just throw a tarp over it until it dies.
My surprise at his attempting to talk me out of buying something from the store must have shown on my face because he nods at my cart and says "You know, it's organic."
Sitting in the bottom of my cart are two bags of organic topsoil.

Yes I love being green. I buy organic produce, visit the farmer's market whenever feasible, choose biking or walking over driving as long as the roads are safe. But it does not rule every aspect of my life. My computer is turned on at least 10-12 hours a day, our AC is set at like 79, I shop at places like Target and Lowes, and half my soaps have sulfates and/or phosphates in them.
It is something I want to become more strict about, but I've come a long way from not even owning a bike or knowing what sulfates were.

Categorizing people also helps you define your enemies. Life is hard enough without becoming friends with someone and then finding out that *GASP* they are for gun control! Oh the horrors.
If you work in our ED, or really if you live out city at all, people assume you are a Republican and therefore agree with them on everything. Recently we've had a couple new people come in who turned out to be democrats and people were shocked as if they had forgotten such people existed. I'm 100% sure that everyone at work thinks I am pro-war, anti-immigration, and anti-gay rights (well, Tonya knows that isn't true since she witnessed my mini-rant when I watched her try to navigate how to buy health insurance for her kids...must stop myself before I resume the rant...but really!!!!...ok, stopping...).
If I have learned anything outside of the Cedarville bubble it is that there are really nice Republicans and really nice Democrats who both have really good intentions. I mean, I'm sure there are people out there who are tapping their fingertips together gleefully while they plot the downfall of the human race, but really, have you ever met one?? There are also, of course, a large number of people who are just stupid and have picked their side on an issue with absolutely no forethought and they should not be allowed to vote. But just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't make them wrong. It doesn't make you wrong. Sometimes there isn't a good solution available.
Sometimes the only perfect solution is a time machine and dammit if those aren't around yet. (Of all the hey-I-thought-of-that-first inventions out there, why has no one invented the one thing we have ALL thought of already!?!??!)

I think I have a pretty good handle on who I am, even if I send out signals that confuse other people sometimes, and I know where I want to end up.