I was specially designed to be an ED RN:
- I walk faster than anyone else I know, even people who have longer legs.
- I really don't mind making you cry and/or scream.
- Nothing makes me nauseous. Not snot, vomit, feces, urine, pus, blood, or even vaginal discharge. ...even if it gets on me. Eh, I'm washable. *shrugs*
- I'm super sensitive to caffeine.
- I hate having nothing to do.
- I have the bladder of a blue whale made out of steel. My preceptors are always asking me if I ever pee. "I gave it up cold turkey" I tell them, quoting Lorelai Gilmore.
- I can pass myself off as sincere to even the most ridiculous parents.
- I do not blush. Not when a teenage boy whips out his penis, not when coworkers tell jokes in an effort to embarass the new young female nurses, not when rude surgeons chew me out.
- I am very territorial. No you may not come in my patient's room, yes you do need to get out of my way. This is my ER.
- I can eat dinner in less than five minutes.
- I have no problem telling jokes in the trauma bay while waiting for a child with a GCS of 3 to come rolling through the door.
- I'd rather be on my feet for 12 hours than sit for 8.
- My heart actually reaches optimal function in chaos (like a BMW reaches equilibrium at 80 mph)
- And I love every second of it. (ok not getting vaginal discharge on me, but hey, it happens)
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