"100.4 is not the same as 104, and other little known parenting facts"

Welcome to your guide of how to avoid pissing off the staff of your local emergency department. If you have ever visited your local ED, you probably have a lot of questions. Questions like "Why are all nurses so rude?" "Why didn't I see a doctor?" and "Why was my kid sent home when he is so clearly on death's door?" I hope to answer your questions by addressing some of the frequently asked questions in my own ED.
Let's begin.

Chapter 1: Why you have to wait in a room full of sick people.
Chapter 2: How the nurse knows your child never had a fever of 110.
Chapter 3: Who that woman wearing the white coat was and why she was only in your room for five minutes.
Chapter 4: Why your child was not given an antibiotic.
Chapter 5: Why no one laughs at your jokes about swine flu/MRSA/the full moon etc.
Chapter 6: What a primary care pediatrician is.
Chapter 7: When it qualifies as an "emergency."