Ugh

I've sat down so many times to write and my mind goes blank.
Not even sure this one will get anywhere.
I have like 15 drafts saved that will never see the light of day.
Because I don't like so much attention. I like talking and I like it when people listen but...not on such a large scale.
And I'm an introvert so I give energy in a crowd and need time alone to get energy back.
As much as I like reading other people's sites I do eventually get tired of hearing again and again how stupid people like me are.
*sigh*
Most of all I hate that I care.
I pride myself on not caring what other people think of me.
And I wouldn't have cared except that I had spent every last drop of mental energy trying to correct 300 misinterpretations, thanking 100 people for actually being insightful, and apologizing to most of them for the heinous things that had happened to them.
So I had no energy left to tell myself Who gives a flying fart if these people think you're an idiot? You don't even know these people! And you're not an idiot, so there.

I have always said I wanted to be a hermit.
It's true.
Dang. I know I'm supposed to love people...and I usually do (despite my protests that I hate them and that they all suck).
But they do annoy me. On a grand scale. About 90% of the time.
If only the great commission had been "Now go live in a cave."
Of course, had that been the great commission, I wouldn't even know what it was, and neither would anyone else alive today.

In other news...
My friend Mike and I are in a fight because I learned that he smokes pot.
Oh now don't go get in a tizzy, I am not in the mood to discuss your right to destroy your body or debate the medicinal effects of marijuana or define "substance abuse." This is another one of those you-don't-know-jack-about-my-life-so-let-me-run-my-own-relationships moments.
So yes, I learned this. And it bothers me on a grand scale and for a great many reasons, most of which are almost surely pathological themselves. But it does. Not enough to end the friendship but I personally do not know how to handle such a friendship. Especially given all circumstances.

And also...
One Tree Hill is back, which makes me very happy. Monday nights are fabulous once again! I cried over little Anna-Sawyer Scott. And remembered that Nathan has got to be the world's perfect husband.

Finally...
My arms feel like they are about to fall off because Morgan "made" Deborah and I kill ourselves lifting weights today.
I'm surprised I can type.

Ouch.