From the beginning: I always wanted the fairy tale. Not just any fairy tale, but the one where the Prince is in disguise as a stable boy and the Princess calls in love with him and doesn't think she can choose him because he's common but she does anyway and voila! Or the girl has that best friend who is always there, even while she's off chasing the popular guy until one day she realizes she's in love with the best friend, and voila! Or where the girl gets kidnapped by some foul man but has a bit of Stockholm syndrome and falls for him, feels guilty, but then finds out her original love was behind the whole thing to begin with and realizes "foul kidnapper man" is actually her perfect match, voila!
Happily ever after.
But I've deliberately manipulted situations to try and manufacture the fairy tale in the past and you can make it seem like the fairy tale, but you can never actually make them respond correctly...
And now. And now we have this friend of mine, spouting off all these tooty fruity romantic things that would probably be really appreciated by some girl, but that girl is not me. Because he's not my guy. And he doesn't seem to get that. Not only am I not attracted to him physically, but he's too desperate to get me to talk about me. Why is everyone like that? Why does everyone think if they ask the questions flat out, you'll just read like an open book? Does that ever work?
I want a guy who knows how to get the information he wants without asking point blank. Someone who realizes, without my telling him, that what I say about TV shows and books says far more about who I am than I'll ever admit.
Someone who sees my crushes on Sawyer and Barney and Chuck and Snape and Sylar as me being accepting of broken people. Not needing to fix them, being willing to just be them. Trusting that people can change and that people are not who they seem.
Who sees my obsession with vampires as my longing for an old fashioned guy. For chivalry and patience.
Who sees my fangirliness over Edmund as my gratefulness that we can be Edmund and still be the heroes in the story.
Who will read Ted Dekker just to find out what I believe about religion and why on earth I want a white bat and Twilight to see how I want to be treated.
Who understands that, complicated as I may be, I actually have books that can serve as manuals as to how I work and think, and will be humble enough to read them and adventurous enough to accept that, weird as it may be.
Someone who can figure this stuff out before me.
In short, I want someone who never asks me "What do you look for in a guy?" because they realize that I don't really look for anything in particular. That looks at the wide array of stories I love and realizes he doesn't have to go shirtless 24/7, or be a doctor, or have super powers, or sing. That in all actuality he could be a prick to most people, he could be a sap, he could be the most misunderstood person in our little world. But that what I don't want is someone who goes out of his way to impress me. Because I don't want to feel like I have to go out of my way to impress him.
I want to be who I am, and I want him to be who he is. Warts and all. Because that is the key to a good fairy tale.
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