Sleepless days, Prayers from Saints, and, of course, Crossroads

And the sleepless saga continues. I think I have figured it out though: I have spent so much time lying in bed worrying that now either I psychologically associate my bed with worry or there are some evil spirits of worry hanging out around my bed. Regardless, when I get home in the morning it is getting prayed over.
It was so bad when I woke up today that I lay there I couldn't get the words together to pray. I was trying to pray the armor of God, as I do when I feel particularly weak or bothered and I couldn't access any of God's promises to even start with the belt of truth. So I sent up a hail Mary (in the football sense...and kind of non football sense I guess) and prayed for some backup from the Saints who have gone before. (Side note: I don't think the saints actually intervene in our lives, but I do think they can still petition for us, just like living people can, because, well, why on earth not? And according to Revelation and possibly other NT books [Ephesians? Philippians?] they watch life unfold on earth and beg God for justice. So I assume that there are some people who watch me, and I assume they are people who faced the same kinds of things I face, thus why wouldn't they join me in praying for answers and help?)
Anyway, I prayed quickly that God would listen to the Saints who had been in my situation before in leiu of my prayers, since I couldn't actually pray anything myself. And immediately thought I need to get up out of bed. I need to get to Crossroads early. And I immediately started feeling better, more energy and all. Then on the way to Crossroads, Jamie Grace's "You Lead" came on the radio.

I've got waves that are tossin' me,
Crashin' all over my beliefs,
And in all sincerity, Lord,
I wanna be yours,
So pull me out of this mess I'm in...

As a child I heard your voice,
But as a girl I made my choice,
There is no other way for me,
I'm devoted to you...
And this world may push, may pull,
But your mercy never fails,You lead, I'll follow, Your hands hold my tomorrow,
Your grip, Your grace, You know the way,
You guide me tenderly, yeah,
When you lead, I'll follow,
Just light the way and I'll go,
Cause I know what you got for me is more then I can see,

Sometimes when I wake up
I don't wanna rise up, Out of my bed,
too many thoughts in my head,Don't wanna be who I used to be,
Gonna take the back seat and let you lead,
So lead me on, on, on and on,
Just lead me on, on, on and on,
And I...
Need to stop, need to stop,
Cause I'm going to fast,
And I...
Know my God is still God, and You got my back...
Perfect. By the time I got to Crossroads I wasn't even feeling poorly anymore!
And then the message was great. It referenced William Wilberforce and how it took 20 years of "failure" to succeed in abolishing the slave trade. And about 10 years in, not only had he made no progress, but things actually got worse as slave traders began throwing sick slaves into the ocean because they didn't want to carry them any further (!!!). But he didn't give up, and he eventually did succeed. It took all his money, all his health, his reputation and public standing, but he and his like-minded friends did the unthinkable.
It was relevant because he also attempted to come against the sex trade in India but didn't get as far, so we are now following in his footsteps quite literally.
It was all a good reminder to
1. Not give up on my own personal challenges and missions
and 2. Life is so much bigger than just me
and 3. This particular issue I'm dealing with right now isn't my only mission. It might seem stalled but I have more than one pot on this stove so while this particular one is taking forever to boil, so to speak, and I have to wait patiently (I soooooooo did NOT pray for patience, how did I wind up with this task?), there are other pots that have progressed while I was busy elsewhere.
In other words: there is always something to do! Lots to do! I don't need to worry myself trying to accomplish things that only God can when my efforts can be more useful elsewhere at the moment.

Most exciting news! And other, you know, random crap

But first the exciting:
The guy got an apartment here in Cinci! I would continue to gush about how fabulous this is except that he has already started trying to find this blog and being the kind of girl who likes to keep her life private...except with strangers...........????..... Ok yeah I have nothing else to add to that nonsense. Suffice to say that it made my day when he told me. So far it's made my week. We'll see how long I can float on this particular cloud.

Now the random:
I am sleeping all. the. time. Like sleep 12 hours, up for 2, back to sleep for another 10 kind of sleep. Usually I couldn't make myself sleep like this if I had to. The last time this happened, which was only last month, I wound up getting sick a few days later. But I wasn't sick for long so I assume my body was getting an early jump on it? Being the medically-minded person I am, I have devised a long list of possible culprits on which to blame my new annoying sleep pattern:
1. I am getting sick
2. I have overtrained. (11 mile run and then a 9 mile run last week. This is definitely a possible contributor)
3. The emotional and psychological stress I have brought upon myself via overanalyzing and worry are making my brain short circuit
4. I sleep a little too long so my blood sugar drops so I have less energy, so I dont get up and eat, so I sleep longer, have even less energy...and so on
5. My genetic predisposition for thyroid problems has finally kicked in
And my personal favorite if-all-else-fails diagnosis...
6. I have a brain tumor.
Clearly it is number 5. I have been saying this since I was a freshman or sophomore in college. It's a slow growing tumor, what can I say.
In all seriousness it is probably a combination of 1-4. Regardless I have an appointment at the end of April for my annual physical so we shall test my theories about my A1C and thyroid then.

Until then...
SHOPPING!
Yes, I awoke at 0145 this morning after sleeping since 1400 (after being awake since only noon, after sleeping since 0800 after being awake since like 2200, after sleeping for like 20 hours....you get the picture) and wound up on etsy.
I am kind of in love with this dress: http://www.etsy.com/listing/95570607/foreign-one-bamboo-hemp-convertible Not sure if I should fork over the money for it though. I almost bought a convertible dress last year. Instead I bought like 5 different dresses throughout the summer. I do looooooooove summer dresses. And I have 2 weddings this summer plus a possible trip to Australia. In addition to normal dress wearing days. Clearly I am trying to convince myself to buy it.
I also love this top http://www.etsy.com/listing/93691337/reversible-bamboo-hemp-movement-top and this one http://www.etsy.com/listing/88902299/gypsy-tudung-bamboo-hemp-hooded-cowl and this dress too http://www.etsy.com/listing/94089692/nomad-versatile-travel-dress
I'm feeling very bohemian this year. It fits with my theme of being alive.

Except, as always, I'm also classic. So classic I'm trying to buy a house. Even though I'd rather be a nomad and travel all over the world for the rest of my days (the problem being no one will join me and I am far too social a creature to do it alone). And the house that I have managed to want is beyond what i want to spend by 30-40K. http://sibcycline.com/viewlisting.asp?mls=1304165&b=CIN&p=RESI&s=SFRD&m=1&sender=SearchResults&a=4242-Duneden-Ave-Deer-Park-OH-45236

Ah, oh well. Life shall work itself out. (Clearly still floating on the aforementioned cloud)

One last linky link from etsy http://www.etsy.com/shop/HarmlessHabit Most adorable flasks ever. Can't even decide which one I love most, so here are all of them.

Last Wednesday tonight. Meeting Mike's new girl. Pretty excited about that.

It's a quarter after five and I'm wide awake

Sar, Maggie and I went to see Hunger Games last night and it was by far the best adaptation from a book that I have ever seen. Casting was superb. The actress who plays Katniss was able to exhibit such a wide range of believable emotions with just her eyes. Donald Sutherland was perfect as the evil yet slightly apathetic ruler. Rue was a-dor-a-ble. The deaths were not realistic, ie. not as grusome as I pictured but it was PG-13, what do you want? The way they used the commentators to give us the information we learned from Katniss' thoughts in the book was genius and also a nice break now and then from the action, as well as showing just how creepy their society is in their love of brutality for sport. All in all very much worth seeing.
Also I loved her hair. I love braids. I want to wear all those hairstyles.
Finally bought new work shoes. Hooray!
Finally cleaned the house. Finally.
Ran 20 miles total this week and my knee finally stopped hurting. Thank God.
House hunting was a bust. So dissappointing.
Got my copy of Eat, Pray, Love in the mail yesterday and an email tonight that my electronic copy of Crossed was available to be dowloaded from the library. It's a weekend of reading. So fabulous.

Random update from the breakroom at work

I finally got into Dr Who!! It doesn't hurt that the tenth dr is just adoooooorable.
Almost makes up for the dissappointing house hunting trip.
Also, I've realized that I'm just not living in the moment so I'm trying to be more zen and meditate and all so I can stop focusing on the possible disappointments of the future and just enjoy the now.

If you want to understand me...

Read Harry Potter (beginning to end, no skipping around, no spoilers and no movies until you're done reading)
Go to Crossroads (every week or you'll miss something)


Yep. That's pretty much it, methinks.

Back by popular demand

So here's the rundown of the exciting things I am expecting in the months to come...

March: PALS recerts = less hours doing my usual work at work. Yippee!!

April: Washington DC and time with the 'rents for Dad's birthday. Lots of running, sunbathing, sightseeing (I now know to get to the washington monument at like 6am *yawn*), and eating pakistani food. Ooooooooh

May: Flying Pig half marathon! Coming up so fast!!

June: Little Miami Triathlon with the girls from work. There will be team t-shirts. Legend...wait for it...dary!

July: Australia? I think yes. Long ass flight spent wondering if I'll wind up crash landing on the island from Lost, 5 days with a gorgeous view of the city from my hotel room with it's own kitchen, kayaking, rock climbing, rapelling, snorkeling, cuddling koalas, feeding dolphins, exploring caves teeming with glow worms and otherwise braving the most dangerous continent. Not that I've already researched and priced all of these things. (Yes, I have). Now I just need to find someone to keep me entertained on the flight over...

August: Lisa's wedding. (Aka excuse to buy a nice dress and all the accessories.) Also mom's 50th birthday and all the shenanigans that entails. And the Crossroads Florence site opens.

September: Renaissance Fair! Color Run! Bourbon Chase! Fall begins!!!! Also paramedic school should be starting....I really need to get on that...

October: Best day of the year (14th), a secret baby is due (lucky baby: October is the best month to be born!), and HALLOWEEN!!!!

November: TFD, Turkey day, Thanksgiving program at Sarah's school, Thanksgiving day at work

DECEMBER: Hobbit movie premier (I will be dressed up in full regalia), Zombie run, Angel tree, bebe seester's day of birth, Awaited, Christmas Eve in the ED, Christmas!!!!!!!!!!

For once there is something planned every month, even before September! And then next year should bring a GoIndia trip, possible house buying, and my first marathon. Oh my life is so exciting.