You can make a fortune with this kind of mind reading

"Facebook is evil....And high school....And school busses. Busses are the worst. Damned busses."

"Oh no. What happened with andy?"

Where have all the hotties gone?

I was reading a Xanga entry about "old school hotties v. new school hotties" and although they decided it was a tie, I have to disagree.
No way are the Jonas brothers anywhere near Backstreet Boys or N*SYNC. I actually like their music, surprisingly, but those brothers are just not cute. The middle one is kinda close but still... as cute as Brian or JC? Never.
And Robert Pattinson?!?!?!?! Somehow the Harry Potter gurus made him pretty darned good looking for Goblet of Fire but these days he's just awful looking. It doesn't help his case that I think he's the most awful pick they could've found to play Edward. He is not smooth, he is not sophisticated, he is not hott, he is not American and HE IS NOT VAMPIRE-Y!!!! Ugh. But even without all that: she put him over Freddie Prinze Jr. How could she?!

She said Prinze looked "goofy" HAS SHE SEEN R. PATT (or whatever lame name the fangirls are calling him these days...)?
Then we got to Zac Efron. And I'm sorry Sarah, I know you love him, but he not hott. He can sing. But he is not hott. She even put him up against Leonardo DiCaprio...who I never liked...and Leo still won.
I'll give her that Chace Crawford is gorgeous and adorable. Even if his acting is gag worthy most of the time.

Maybe they're just too young. After all, I'd take Will Smith, Clive Owen, Hugh Jackman, or Robert Downey Jr., over the newbies any day.
*vaguely recalls that they are not really the superheros they portray, but shakes that off, quite certain that Clive Owen flies to Africa to perform surgery on his days off*

The Most Important Freebie of All...

I just found out that the national bone marrow registry is allowing 46,000 people to join for FREE June 8-22. This is major for me because I've wanted to join since high school but it's always been too expensive.

So, if anyone else wants to be involved: join next week (not this upcoming week).

Ok, today was Get Free Stuff Day:

First, Bath & Body Works has a coupon for a free Liplicious or CO Bigelow item (up to $12) with the purchase of any item. I got the lovely new Butterfly Flower body spray and picked up the incredibly tasty Cranberry Cocktail Liplicious lip gloss. I also picked up te Brown Sugar Scrub & Pomegranate Lip Color for 75% off. I loooooooooooove the Liplicious brand. It is soooooo yummy! And the brown sugar scrub is actually sugar, so its totally edible!

Act fast because the offer ends tomorrow!
But don't go too crazy because the big sem-annual sale starts June 1st!

I also got free ice cream from my local SuperWalmart because today is National Ice Cream Day. They stop serving at 4pm.

Other freebies:

Burt's Bees is having a giveaway every day until June 20th. Every day until then they give away 1000 beeswax lip balms at some time between 9am-noon. I've yet to catch it right on but I haven't given up!

National Donut Day is coming up: On June 5th (next Friday), Krispy Kremes everywhere will give away a free donut to everyone, no coupon needed. I did this last year!

Sonic is giving away free root beer floats from 8pm to closing on June 3rd (next Wednesday). That's what I'll be doing when I get off shift at the hospital!

I love free stuff!

14 hour shifts are not safe, but can be refreshing

I was seriously loopy by the 13th hour. But I was very blessed by my patients. One of them prayed over her lunch tray (jellow and chicken broth) with her husband, another prayed that I would be persuasive when advocating her case to the doctor, and the first made several comments about prayer.
I've been spending time trying to reconnect with my Creator, so these were great little messages to get today. I've been reading Mere Christianity and it means so much more to me now that I've been "out in the world" a little and I'm not reading it from the perspective of a senior at a Christian high school. And I've got my favorite Christian songs on repeat that I listen to in the morning and at night before bed.
As I drove away from the parking garage tonight I realized that even though I was exhausted, I had really enjoyed it. And I haven't felt like that since early morning CUEMS runs. I always attributed being this happy to being at CU or being with my good godly friends, but I think I gave them all too much credit. I think this joy-after-14-hours-of-bodily-fluids is a result of focuing on God, and therefore my real purpose. I don't have to get As, I don't have to be super-nurse, I don't have to do it all without help, and perfectly, and the first time.

Anyway, I should really get to bed so I can do this all over again tomorrow!

Oh Happy Days

Buy one get one free blackberries at Publix. Now how is a little fruit-lover on a budget supposed to resist?
Fresh blackberries, organic granola, and strawberry yogurt with live cultures...Yummmmm.

I found a great new Christian artist today: Jonny Diaz. I heard his song More Beautiful You on the radio on my way back from shopping:
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don’t buy the lies, disguises, and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
...
So turn around you’re not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It’s not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who’s strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you’ll see through the eyes of a little girl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZI_YG40uEDk

"Proof"

I had a patient today who looked EXACTLY like my great grandma.
And this patient was from COLUMBIA.
I took one look at her and screamed (in my head) "I KNEW IT!!!!!"

I am far too short, sassy, and dark not to be partly latina.

And yes, this proves it: it's arbitrary and it makes me happy. Isn't that the definition of proof these days?

Boring days off

It's really rather pathetic when you'd rather be at work than have a day off. Of course it's less pathetic when you'd rather be at work so you could be getting rid of those 142 hours you have left before you're done with school and can move far away.

I saw Tropic Thunder today. So dissappointing. I wound up grabbing my laptop about an hour into the movie I was so bored. And Robert Downey Jr. just isn't the same with colored contacts. Different color skin wasn't really hard to get past, but the eyes were. Creepy bright blue contacts...

Finished my portion of this weeks paper for policy class. Good grief I hate that class. Last week I was asigned the arguments against sexual education in schools (so overdone, *gag*), this week it was the problems with universal healthcare. You'd think it would be an easy paper. You'd be so wrong. Finding credible sources with negative things to say was a NIGHTMARE!!!!! I wound up having to use articles that were for universal healthcare and manipulating their points to try and make up negative evidence. Sucky sucky paper. You'd think more journals would be publishing the "con" side but all I could find were editorials! You can't cite those in a scientific paper!
/angry school rant

One little housekeeping issue: To my dear anonymous commenter. There are three options for who you are.
1. Liz. I kind of doubt this because I thought we cleared things up, but it is posible since you did post antagonistic anonymous comments before. Again, I think this unlikely, but if it is you, I would like you to know there is no reason to be anonymous. I have no problem with your being here or disagreeing with me.
2. Some random person/people. I'm thinking "no" for this one as well. First of all I'm pretty sure they're all (or almost all) the same person. Second, I have no idea why someone I don't know would want to hide their identity. Third...because I'm pretty sure it's number 3.
3. My apparent self-appointed nemesis Mikey G. I think this because it is just so fitting with everything I know about you. And because your comments tend to be political in nature and we all know how much you have always loved your little political aspirations. Why you are still around I have no idea unless you are really paranoid about finding mean things written about you when you google yourself (lol). But anyway, rest assured that I'm assuming these comments are left by you.

In related news: I will be relocating my site when I relocate IRL. Firstly because I am tired on the moniker I chose back in undergrad and think it sounds silly. Second because I would like to ditch Mr. Insecure just to piss him off. (Maybe I'll also run around the internet creating tons of fake blog sites mentioning his name and how dumb he is, just for kicks and giggles. Immature? Of course! But also fun.) But mostly number 1. And, ok, 2.
Just FYI.

If I think of anything else boring to write about I'll do so later.

Label-Induced Identity Crisis

People...or at least our society...are so dependent on labels.
Everyone wants to know "What are you?"
In regards to politics, religion (and denomination of that religion), career, nationality, ethnicity...

And it's so darned confusing!

What am I?

Well I'm pretty sure I'm human. Some days I'd rather not be but there's really no escaping that particular definition.
I'm female. And proud of it 99.9% of the time.
I'm an EMT and a nurse (or close enough anyway).
I'm a daughter and sister and best friend, most importantly.

And that's pretty much where your ability to label me ends. While I should probably be proud of the world's inability to put me in a box, slap a sticker on me and ship me to Taiwan to be mass produced...I'm not. Or maybe I am proud, but it certainly doesn't make life easy.
People like labels so that they don't have to waste time getting to know you. Or so they can judge ahead of time if you are worth the effort of getting to know.
Pathetic but true.

It's bugging me not because I want people to know me at a glance, but because I (like most members of my species) like camraderie. Don't get me wrong, I like debate, but I also like just being able to let down my guard and stop analyzing everything that everyone is saying. I like knowing that no one is analyzing me. And it's impossible when I'm straddling fifteen different labels.

I'm conservative because I think rich people shouldn't be taxed more (%age wise) than poor people, traditional families are important, we should defend our borders vigorously, and I want to own a gun.
But I'm liberal because I think we should welcome immigrants, probably have universal healthcare insurance, "go green," clean up the inner cities, help the homeless, and pay teachers more.

I'm a feminist because I think all women should be treated with respect, loved, cherished, and valued for the unique things we bring to the table.
But I'm anti-feminist because I don't think women are better than men or have any right to end an innocent life.

I'm a Baptist because I believe you need faith and works, inerrency of the Bible, and that not all spritual gifts are accessible to everyone.
I'm a Pentecostal because I believe women can be leaders in the church just like anyone else, that you need a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and that speaking in tongues still exists.
I'm a Roman Catholic because I take my religion seriously, I want to take communion every week, and I believe tradition is important.
I'm a Messianic Jew because I find knowledge of the original languages of the Bible to be vitally important, I celebrate God with dance, and I learn the most original content from Rabbis.
But I'm also this weird new breed that thinks the Church has responsibilities, that we're all "magically" connected to everyone else, and that prayer has a tangible effect.

I'm German, I'm Irish, I'm English, I'm Welsh, I'm Native American, I'm Dutch...and a whole lot of other things, no doubt. "So what?" You may say. "Over half of Americans are mutts."
Yes but I have family who were Nazis, family who hid the Jews, and most likely family who were Jews.
I have Irish Catholics and Irish Protestants in my background.
Native American ancestors and ancestors who came over during Pilgrim years.
Good grief my own blood has spent centuries trying to kill itself off, no wonder I'm so conflicted!

I'm an American with no loyalties to the government and I think our way of life is sickeningly selfish.
I have a bachelors in Psychology and think the APA is a sham for taking homosexuality out of the DSM.
I'm a scientist but I don't believe in proof.
I'm anti-abortion but pro-death penalty. (which many find a contradiction, even if I don't.)
I'm very pro-military without being necessarily pro-war.
I'm against the government telling me how to run my family, but think we should intervene in certain matters.
I hate people and love 'em all at once.

I am complex. I am an enigma, even to myself.
It should make me proud. Instead it makes my head want to explode.

So what am I?
(I wish I were my dog...)

Politics and Playing House

Remember when you played house as a kid? Everyone wanted to be the parents because they got to make the rules. If you weren't the parent the next best thing was if one of your friends was the parent because they could feed you chocolate and give you ponies. The worst possible scenario was getting that mean girl who had been held back and was therefore older and thought that meant she was already the boss of you. She'd make everyone lay down and pretend it was nap time.
But in the end it didn't really matter who got to play the parents because regardless of how awesome or horrible they were, they were only pretending to be in charge. Your best friend could decree that every Monday was "Ice Cream for Dinner" day and yet your real mom was still going to make sure there were green beans on your plate that night.
Real Mom and Dad's rules still applied, regardless of what fake mom or dad said.

And so it is with politics and God.

Arguments abound over whether you can be Christian and still belong to a certain party. It's a ridiculous question all around.
First, the only government (let alone party) God endorses is a Theocracy where He is in charge. He only gave the Israelites a king because they begged and whined for one, but He still knew it wasn't a good idea, and He told them so. And they have had no end of problems.
Sure they had good kings now and then, but even the greatest committed HUGE moral failures that impacted them negatively. David took a census when God told him not to and massive chunk of the Israelites were smite because of it.
Whoops.
And then there were the bad ones. Ahab comes to mind. As bad as it got with the horrible kings, they all died eventually...and God was still around, and His rules still applied. He got Israel through persecutions and famines and war brought on by kings who were anywhere from unprepared all the way to evil raving lunatics.

And this is where my responsibility to be involved in politics confuses me.
Is it my duty to my God to fight the evil system?
Or should I ignore the political realm entirely because there's nothing I can do about it anyway?
Probabaly somewhere in between, but I was never an "in between" sort of girl. I like the extreme ends of the spectrum.

And so, I cast my measly unimportant and ineffectual vote for responsible individuals who have godly morals. (...or rather I would if anyone like that would come along.)
And in the meantime, while I'm stuck with BObo in office, I will watch and wait for the inevitable day when he leaves office. Whether that be in 4 years or 8....or after he declares himself ruler forever a la Ceasar or Castro and dies in a nursing home as a shriveled prune.

Eventually he will leave office, as will everyone else. And the only question is will the successors be worse? Or will we get a temporary reprieve?

Either way, the rules never change, only the play pretend leaders.
Like children playing house.

I want all the credit, God can have all the blame

I was thinking today about how every time something bad happens (9/11, Katrina, kidnapped kids...or if nothing recent has happened, the good ol' standby: the Holocaust) people lash out with "Where was God?" "If God was really good and all powerful He wouldn't let this happen!" etc.
But of course when bad things don't happen we ignore it.
For example: we just averted a possible major flu epidemic. Had it come, no doubt God would have been the scapegoat for a lot of people, but I haven't heard one person throw themselves on the ground and thank God for it not happening.
Why?
Because God is like public health. (huh?) Yes. See, the analogy works pretty well because public health was scrambling during the beginning of the swine flu breakout. Scrambling to discourage travel, track the virus, dissect the virus, build an effective vaccine, stockpile Oseltamivir, keep people from panicking, quarantine people who had been exposed, poured over biostatistics, cursed Joe Biden, ran tests on millions of nasal swabs...ect.
But despite all this work, there's no telling if they managed to prevent anything from happening or if it never would have happened anyway.
Similarly, we can't tell when God has intervened or when nothing bad was headed our way to begin with. We can only tell when public health or God have "failed." And even then, you can't actually tell if they failed because you have no way of know how bad it would have been without them.

Here's a bright idea: how about we take some of the blame for the bad shit that happens in life?
Why did the holocaust happen?
1. Because we who "won" WWI forced Germany to live in economic and literal ruins, priming the German people to follow whatever radical idiot promised to restore their national standing in the world.
2. Because we ignored all the warning signs that Hitler was a freak of a nature. We ignored the fact that Jews were disappearing, we ignored Hitler's incredibly transparent speeches about his genocidal goals, we even ignored it when he started invading other countries!
3. Because when we finally woke up from our sugar comas we still couldn't get on the same page and band together to stop the devil man. To this day people will argue that it was wrong to go to war or that it was wrong for people to try to assassinate Hitler.
Who's to blame for the Holocaust? Everyone on the planet at the time who didn't do anything to stop it. Every leader of every country who didn't do everything they could to stop it, regardless of popular opinion or opinion of other countries.

We're not near smart enough to understand why God allowed it (obviously, because I've yet to hear of anyone with a good reason). We never will be.

And until human beings as a whole start attempting to take care of these problems themselves (instead of prizing their money more than the lives of their fellow human beings) I refuse to take any individual seriously who tries the ol' "Why did God allow this?" game.

Light-hearted Worry-free Blog: Best Finales

Sidereel.com (where I download all my TV shows) made their "Top 10 Finales" list and while some were indeed awesome, others were not, so I made my own list. The only rule, other than awesomeness, is that it couldn't be from this season because 1. I have not seen them all, and 2. the shock still hasn't worn off from some (Grey's anyone?!?!?!?! AHH!! WTH?)

Warning, spoilers abound.

24 season 1. "11pm-12am" Killing off one of the main characters, who was presumed to finally be safe after being in danger all season AND revealing the mole to be the one person you trusted as much as Jack!?!??!!? Wicked.

Alias season 3 "The Telling." Sydney wakes up in another country, it's 2 years later, and Syd doesn't remember anything about it?!?!?!? This is the random episode I saw (though I'd seen a couple before it, enough to know what was going on) that made me come back and watch the series from beginning to end. Again, another finale that depended heavily on the premier the next season: SD-6 is gone? Sloane is a good guy? (or is he?) Vaughn is married? Her mother and father are buddy buddy?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 3 "Graduation Day." Even as I watched it (almost a decade after it was released) I knew it would forever be my favorite Buffy episode. Even without Spike it made the list, which is saying something.

Grey's Anatomy season 2 "Losing My Religion." Even though I watched much of season three before season two, and therefore knew Denny's fate from the get-go, there was still so much sadness. And Karev carrying Izzie away in the prom dress? And Izzie lying on the bathroom floor in the premier of season 3? Am I the only one who thinks the following premier really effects the finale?

Veronica Mars season 2 "Not Pictured" It was 24 for teenage girls. And I loved pretending I was one. But the twists, my gosh! I LOVED THEM!!!! Not only did we solve the bus mystery, bizarre and creepy and the most UNLIKELY person ever, but we learn that everything we thought we knew about Veronicas rape was also a lie.

Lost season 3 "Through the Looking Glass" NOT CHARLIE!!!!! It was devastating. And oddly enough, I like my shows devastating.

How I Met Your Mother season 2 "Something Blue" All because of Barney's "It's going to be legend...wait for it..." ending. And that it picked up at "...dary! Legendary!" in the next premier. I'm telling you, I am a sucker for the good premier. I don't even remember anything else from this episode!

Gilmore Girls season 2 "I Can't Get Started" I admit, I found a clip of the ending on YouTube and watched the Jess-Rory kiss like 5000 times that summer. I claim temporary insanity: I was 16.

House season 4 "House's Head/Wilson's Heart" 2 hours of House: Seeing the interworkings of his mind and cut-throat bitch dies a random incurable death. Death by antivirals. I cried. Awesome.

I really don't have a tenth. This space is reserved for the next awesome finale I see. :-)


I should do a "Top 10 Premiers" during premier week in the fall...

I should totally be in bed

I'm trying to make an effort to live a less stressed life. I'm not really sure how that's going to work because I love productive stress (procrastinating for papers, working in emergencies etc) but I think I need to get rid of the nonproductive stress for sure. The difficulty is knowing which is which.
For instance: Xanga. Ah yes, Xanga. So much of what I read makes me angry, which is counter-productive except for the fact that I am motivated by anger. ...perhaps I need different motivation. Well, yes, now that I've written that it appears insanely obvious. I need new, better motivation. Clearly.

As I have some extra time coming up now that I'm in practicum and only have one class, both of which end in the middle of June, two months before I'll be starting work, I have some goals to try and accomplish. I'll never do them if I don't write them down and have people know about them so here goes.
1. New motivation.
2. Learn to sail
3. Exercise...weekly (oh I'm such a slacker)
4. Re-establish my belief system. I've had too many strangers in recent months telling me what I believe. And most of them are wrong but they're so loud and persistent and confusing that I've forgotten why they're wrong. I have to go back to people I trust. CS Lewis, Brother Andrew, Stasi Eldgridge, Ted Dekker...and of course God.
Seeing as 4 is majorly huge and 1-3 will take up their fair share of time as well, I think that's enough for now.

Oh, I saw Seven Pounds today. It was AH-MAZING! Seriously. If I could buy stock in Will Smith I would. He never dissappoints. I totally hope I could be the type of person he played in this film. (Minus the guilt and depression.)

*flops onto bed overdramatically*

Exactly one year ago I was gearing up for the first day of nursing school.
...or possibly sleeping. I was better about that back then.

And today I've finished my first day of practicum.
And I'm exhausted.

I love nursing, but my brain is nursing fried. I don't have the answers to any questions right now.
I am dead to the nursing world.

*curses the fact that there is a grad class I am actively ignoring*


In other news...


It's Finale Time!!!!!
A time almost as exciting as Premier Week. Only Finale Time doesn't get a song and dance, just raves and gripes.
I just watched the episode of GA from last week (not the finale, but no matter) and it is one of the top five GA eppys. It's up there with Crash Into Me, It's The End of the World...As We Know It, Walk on Water/Drowning on Dry Land/Some Kind of Miracle, and Freedom (I combine the "to be continued" story arcs as one long eppy).
Though nothing can quite capture those first two seasons, this episode came the closest.

Lyrics

My life,
Has led me down the road that's so uncertain
And now I am left alone and I am broken,
Trying to find my way,
Trying to find the faith that's gone

This time,
I know that you are holding all the answers
I'm tired of losing hope and taking chances,
On roads that never seem,
To be the ones that bring me home

Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I've been trying to find my way,
I haven't got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I've got nothing without You
I've got nothing without You

My life,
Has led me down this path that's ever winding
Through every twist and turn I'm always finding,
That I am lost again
Tell me when this road will ever end

I don't know where I can turn
Tell me when will I learn
Won't You show me where I need to go
Oh oh
Let me follow Your lead,
I know that it's the only way that I can get back home
--Revelation, Third Day

"That little boy was my country"

I watched The Interpreter again tonight. The last time I saw it I fell asleep because I found it boring and irrelevant.
Unfortunately I found it poignant and applicable today.
There is a segment where the FBI(?) is briefing on the genocidal leader, Zuwanie, and his rivals. They mention how Zuwanie was responsible for freeing the country from previous oppression, was then elected President of their country, and proceded to run it into the ground. They made a comment about how that's what always happens: revolutionaries become dictators. Rulers change their politics as soon as they get power. They go from beloved to feared.
Nicole Kidman's character mentions how proud her family and the other families in their neighborhood were when Zuwanie became president. And how he turned around and killed them all.
And while it's still currently a little bit of a dramatic leap to make the connection to our current government...I certainly share the sentiment in that I so wished I could cheer and celebrate over his election, and I did have some silly notion of hope that he would prove me wrong. But instead he's been worse than I imagined.

*sigh*