Crazy sauce!
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
I'm baaaaack
Phew! That took forever! I literally just spent the last 4 hours working on this blog so you better be appreciative. *squinty look*
I realized the last few days there were things I wanted blog about (mainly the Oscars) but didn't feel was appropriate on my travel blog. So I went back through my old scrapped blogs, chose the one with the coolest name, and imported all the old posts. It wouldn't have taken so long except that I then had to read -- ok, skim -- all the entries to make sure they were still suitable for my audience. "Audience" meaning, no-longer-just-my-mom-and-Sar........and-people-who-randomly-google-me. I'll admit I edited out the names of people a couple places and removed one entry entirely, but for the most part everything is intact...despite it's ability to embarrass me.
Why would I leave such blackmail out there for everyone to read? Because it's me. It's who I was and how I became who I am. If you go back far enough you enter the first days of nursing when I loooooooved it and was overjoyed at little things like getting an IV on a six-weeker and terrified at the thought of having to put a line in a six-weeker who was DEHYDRATED!!! (Oh no! Heavens to betsy is that even possible?!?!?!?! What do you mean you need me to access a kid with no pulse??? How do I know when it's in the right spot with no flash? AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!)
Go back a bit farther and you encounter incredibly-and-irrationally-angry me. I hate everything in the world: churches, politicians, people in my school, people online, people I make up in my head...ok it sounds kind of like me today, but trust me, I have things way more under control now.
Even further and you get the version of me that was always using different size fonts and multiple colors to make my points. Really bad clipart. Posts without spell check. Pictures that bleed over the margins of the post. Because I figured no one would ever read them (and because I didn't know how to correct the sizing issue, shhh)
Reading most of it gave me a headache and/or embarrassed me. But then there was this little gem from 2009:
I realized the last few days there were things I wanted blog about (mainly the Oscars) but didn't feel was appropriate on my travel blog. So I went back through my old scrapped blogs, chose the one with the coolest name, and imported all the old posts. It wouldn't have taken so long except that I then had to read -- ok, skim -- all the entries to make sure they were still suitable for my audience. "Audience" meaning, no-longer-just-my-mom-and-Sar........and-people-who-randomly-google-me. I'll admit I edited out the names of people a couple places and removed one entry entirely, but for the most part everything is intact...despite it's ability to embarrass me.
Why would I leave such blackmail out there for everyone to read? Because it's me. It's who I was and how I became who I am. If you go back far enough you enter the first days of nursing when I loooooooved it and was overjoyed at little things like getting an IV on a six-weeker and terrified at the thought of having to put a line in a six-weeker who was DEHYDRATED!!! (Oh no! Heavens to betsy is that even possible?!?!?!?! What do you mean you need me to access a kid with no pulse??? How do I know when it's in the right spot with no flash? AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!)
Go back a bit farther and you encounter incredibly-and-irrationally-angry me. I hate everything in the world: churches, politicians, people in my school, people online, people I make up in my head...ok it sounds kind of like me today, but trust me, I have things way more under control now.
Even further and you get the version of me that was always using different size fonts and multiple colors to make my points. Really bad clipart. Posts without spell check. Pictures that bleed over the margins of the post. Because I figured no one would ever read them (and because I didn't know how to correct the sizing issue, shhh)
Reading most of it gave me a headache and/or embarrassed me. But then there was this little gem from 2009:
"I will rip out your eyes and feed them to a goose if you accuse me of that"Where did I come up with this stuff? Weirdo. That's the throughline, though: I am bat shit crazy most of the time. And now I can share all of my bat shit craziness with all of you again!
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Ashamed
I must admit, I have been sucked into the world of Honey Boo Boo child.
I initially refused to watch even clips of the show because of my horrid distaste for the awful people on Toddlers and Tiaras, so I have no idea how I wound up watching entire episodes of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, but heres the thing: it's not that bad.
Shocking.
Really, they are is not the worst family the network could have picked to give a spin-off...
--Alana encourages and claps for other girls in the pageants, unlike a lot of the brats on Toddlers and Tiaras
--Although the family is grossly overweight, there is a running side story of them trying and failing to lose weight in a way that is far more realistic than the weight-loss shows
--The Go-Go juice thing is disturbing, but so is what the majority of American parents feed their kids on a daily basis
--They don't win the pageants so it's hard to believe that they are exploiting their daughter (except for the tv show of course, but its become more about the mom than the kid)
--As bizarre as the family is, they are actually far from dysfunctional. Surprisingly.
--The girls have an amazing sense of self-worth, despite being relatively unattractive and significantly overweight.
--I don't know if they get welfare (I assume so...) but at least the dad works and mom clips coupons (and then tries to teach her kids math at the store)
The "facts" they know are really entertaining as well
--If you fart 15 times a day it means you're healthy (mom)
--10-15 farts a day will help you lose weight (teen sister)
--Teacup pigs only get to be 5-6 pounds (mom)
--Vaginas look like biscuits. If it's cooked right. Like from Hardees. (mom)
--There's flesh-eating bacteria in the local swimming hole, so it's not safe. But diving into giant mud puddles is ok. (mom)
--Elvis is Santa's helper. (Alana)
"I think I'm gonna be an okay mom" -- teen sister
"It won't even weigh you! You so fat it won't weigh you!" --Alana to mom
I initially refused to watch even clips of the show because of my horrid distaste for the awful people on Toddlers and Tiaras, so I have no idea how I wound up watching entire episodes of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, but heres the thing: it's not that bad.
Shocking.
Really, they are is not the worst family the network could have picked to give a spin-off...
--Alana encourages and claps for other girls in the pageants, unlike a lot of the brats on Toddlers and Tiaras
--Although the family is grossly overweight, there is a running side story of them trying and failing to lose weight in a way that is far more realistic than the weight-loss shows
--The Go-Go juice thing is disturbing, but so is what the majority of American parents feed their kids on a daily basis
--They don't win the pageants so it's hard to believe that they are exploiting their daughter (except for the tv show of course, but its become more about the mom than the kid)
--As bizarre as the family is, they are actually far from dysfunctional. Surprisingly.
--The girls have an amazing sense of self-worth, despite being relatively unattractive and significantly overweight.
--I don't know if they get welfare (I assume so...) but at least the dad works and mom clips coupons (and then tries to teach her kids math at the store)
The "facts" they know are really entertaining as well
--If you fart 15 times a day it means you're healthy (mom)
--10-15 farts a day will help you lose weight (teen sister)
--Teacup pigs only get to be 5-6 pounds (mom)
--Vaginas look like biscuits. If it's cooked right. Like from Hardees. (mom)
--There's flesh-eating bacteria in the local swimming hole, so it's not safe. But diving into giant mud puddles is ok. (mom)
--Elvis is Santa's helper. (Alana)
"I think I'm gonna be an okay mom" -- teen sister
"It won't even weigh you! You so fat it won't weigh you!" --Alana to mom
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
3 hours of a conversation to nowhere and two entire Adele albums later... ...who's ready for AUSTRALIA??!?!?!?!?!?
Mememememememememememe!
I'm even looking forward to 20 hours of trying to find a comfortable position on ze plane while watching movies on a 4 inch screen and eating trail mix to stave off hunger between overcooked mystery meat entrees. No, really, I am. I'm a freak. I enjoy everything about international travel. Except waiting in line to go through customs. That is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo awful. Because you are exhausted and just want to collapse onto a bed. Or the floor. And you have to stand in line with a bunch of other foreigners from God-knows-where who don't speak your language while you watch all the native people arriving home go through the short line like "see ya beyotches!!" (or at least that's what I'm like when I breeze through US customs on arriving home)
I'm excited about staying a hostel for the first time and exploring a crazy new city just me and bebe seester. And about all the mad exciting shit I have planned for us. And all the downtime to visit the beach and go out dancing and listen to hott Aussie boys try to convince me why I should go home with them (try being the operative word). And enjoy the cooler weather. And maybe meet up with that PICU nurse I just met who just happens to also be in Brisbane next week.
Coincidence?
I think NOT!
No, actually, it totally is a coincidence. But a weird one.
I still have to pack. I have new luggage on its way. Very exciting. It's pink plaid. I cannot wait. I spend so much money on adventures, it is unreal. You'd think by now I'd have everything I needed for these trips. You'd be wrong! Every trip I learn something else I need whether it's luggage that doesn't look like everyone else's, an adapter/converter so I don't have to keep all my electronics off to the point I might as well have not brought them, an airplane pillow so I can sleep, Airborne, more local currency (you can literally not bring too much)...
...I just realized that since this is the first international trip not affiliated with a church, I can drink alcohol on the plane! SCORE!!! My trip is set.
Mememememememememememe!
I'm even looking forward to 20 hours of trying to find a comfortable position on ze plane while watching movies on a 4 inch screen and eating trail mix to stave off hunger between overcooked mystery meat entrees. No, really, I am. I'm a freak. I enjoy everything about international travel. Except waiting in line to go through customs. That is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo awful. Because you are exhausted and just want to collapse onto a bed. Or the floor. And you have to stand in line with a bunch of other foreigners from God-knows-where who don't speak your language while you watch all the native people arriving home go through the short line like "see ya beyotches!!" (or at least that's what I'm like when I breeze through US customs on arriving home)
I'm excited about staying a hostel for the first time and exploring a crazy new city just me and bebe seester. And about all the mad exciting shit I have planned for us. And all the downtime to visit the beach and go out dancing and listen to hott Aussie boys try to convince me why I should go home with them (try being the operative word). And enjoy the cooler weather. And maybe meet up with that PICU nurse I just met who just happens to also be in Brisbane next week.
Coincidence?
I think NOT!
No, actually, it totally is a coincidence. But a weird one.
I still have to pack. I have new luggage on its way. Very exciting. It's pink plaid. I cannot wait. I spend so much money on adventures, it is unreal. You'd think by now I'd have everything I needed for these trips. You'd be wrong! Every trip I learn something else I need whether it's luggage that doesn't look like everyone else's, an adapter/converter so I don't have to keep all my electronics off to the point I might as well have not brought them, an airplane pillow so I can sleep, Airborne, more local currency (you can literally not bring too much)...
...I just realized that since this is the first international trip not affiliated with a church, I can drink alcohol on the plane! SCORE!!! My trip is set.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Libra Zebra
Going through Clarabelle's fashion blog today she had a picture of a giraffe necklace and mentioned it was her spirit animal. Having an obsession with online quizzes and surveys I have taken ones that were supposed to tell me my "spirit animal" but they were always stupid. Seeing her necklace I thought of my own zebra necklaces and love for the little black and white striped delightfulness, and googled "zebra spirit animal" on a whim. When the results page showed "Zebra, Power Animal, Symbol of Individuality, Balance" I thought BAZINGA! Here's Ina Woolcott's incredibly spot-on description of me:
The zebra’s gifts include seeing in black and white, clarity without filters, balance, agility, uniqueness, power, sureness of path, keeping up individuality within the herd.
The zebra's black and white stripes camouflage it against predators, who often cant identify individuals in the herd. However to the herd members the patterns are unique from zebra to zebra, helping to identify one another - they are as unique as our fingerprints. Blending into a crowd without losing your individuality is one powerful aspect of Zebra. Zebras also help us to be supportive members within our communities. These abilities protect them from danger, as well as their agility and speedy.
I have always said that my ability to adapt and remain unnoticed is one of my greatest assets. I am small and physically fairly weak so being able to slip past people who would hurt me is an advantage. Just like the zebra who is easily killed due to their weak spinal column, I have to either hide from or outrun my enemies.
The stripes also represent the blending and balancing of opposites, yin yang, harmony - enabling us to see a deeper truth.
If this is your power animal, study its ability to survive and flourish in a harsh land. Look at your relationship to the various groups in your life. Compromising in personal relationships can be challenging, but Zebras enjoy challenge as they know that all challenges are a chance for growth. Use your mental ability to work around problems and barriers, rather than confronting them - Zebra will show you how.
I don't need zebra to show me how. I am zebra. I'd much rather make a situation go away than face it head on, even if facing it would take less time and energy.
Zebras are members of the horse family, living in small family herds made up of a stallion and some mares with their foals. Zebras mix with antelope herds, giving the Antelopes protection from predators because of the zebras alertness. People with this power animal frequently fit the shoes of a kind hearted protector of loved ones, whether family or friends. They make great therapists and are genuinely compassionate towards others.
Hells yes. Stay away from my antelopes (family, friends, patients), they're MINE.
Questioning reality and illusion is common amongst people with zebra medicine, though an over analytic intellect can be a hindrance for some with this totem. In others the imagination must be awakened.
Anyone who has been around me while I'm unmedicated knows I have trouble telling reality from fiction. Anyone who has been around me at all, ever, knows I am over-analytical.
The zebras pattern of black on white, or white on black implies that what you see is not always what you get. Occult knowledge seen and unseen, dimensional shifts, new journeys and worldly endeavours are all aspects of this.
I have always been sensitive to spirits. Evil spirits. People's spirits. I can't communicate with them or see them or anything. I'm not a demon-hunter. I just sense energies. Or something.
This is part of why I am medicated.
Zebras are master magicians, who utilise the energy of light and dark to shift realities and expand our consciousness, helping us see past our preconceived beliefs as they lead us into the mystery and magic of the unseen.
Multiple times I've been told that I changed someone's mind on an issue.
And we all know where I stand on magic.
Zebras seek balance in what they do, and they are sure of themselves, standing confidently in the middle of opposing forces. Those with this power animal are taught similar skills.
BALANCE!!!!!! It's like my mantra or something. It pops up in every description of me. I use it constantly when describing why something is bothering me. It is so important to me in every aspect of my life. And I am always in the middle of opposing forces, especially the opposing forces inside of myself.
The zebra’s gifts include seeing in black and white, clarity without filters, balance, agility, uniqueness, power, sureness of path, keeping up individuality within the herd.
The zebra's black and white stripes camouflage it against predators, who often cant identify individuals in the herd. However to the herd members the patterns are unique from zebra to zebra, helping to identify one another - they are as unique as our fingerprints. Blending into a crowd without losing your individuality is one powerful aspect of Zebra. Zebras also help us to be supportive members within our communities. These abilities protect them from danger, as well as their agility and speedy.
I have always said that my ability to adapt and remain unnoticed is one of my greatest assets. I am small and physically fairly weak so being able to slip past people who would hurt me is an advantage. Just like the zebra who is easily killed due to their weak spinal column, I have to either hide from or outrun my enemies.
The stripes also represent the blending and balancing of opposites, yin yang, harmony - enabling us to see a deeper truth.
If this is your power animal, study its ability to survive and flourish in a harsh land. Look at your relationship to the various groups in your life. Compromising in personal relationships can be challenging, but Zebras enjoy challenge as they know that all challenges are a chance for growth. Use your mental ability to work around problems and barriers, rather than confronting them - Zebra will show you how.
I don't need zebra to show me how. I am zebra. I'd much rather make a situation go away than face it head on, even if facing it would take less time and energy.
Zebras are members of the horse family, living in small family herds made up of a stallion and some mares with their foals. Zebras mix with antelope herds, giving the Antelopes protection from predators because of the zebras alertness. People with this power animal frequently fit the shoes of a kind hearted protector of loved ones, whether family or friends. They make great therapists and are genuinely compassionate towards others.
Hells yes. Stay away from my antelopes (family, friends, patients), they're MINE.
Questioning reality and illusion is common amongst people with zebra medicine, though an over analytic intellect can be a hindrance for some with this totem. In others the imagination must be awakened.
Anyone who has been around me while I'm unmedicated knows I have trouble telling reality from fiction. Anyone who has been around me at all, ever, knows I am over-analytical.
The zebras pattern of black on white, or white on black implies that what you see is not always what you get. Occult knowledge seen and unseen, dimensional shifts, new journeys and worldly endeavours are all aspects of this.
I have always been sensitive to spirits. Evil spirits. People's spirits. I can't communicate with them or see them or anything. I'm not a demon-hunter. I just sense energies. Or something.
This is part of why I am medicated.
Zebras are master magicians, who utilise the energy of light and dark to shift realities and expand our consciousness, helping us see past our preconceived beliefs as they lead us into the mystery and magic of the unseen.
Multiple times I've been told that I changed someone's mind on an issue.
And we all know where I stand on magic.
Zebras seek balance in what they do, and they are sure of themselves, standing confidently in the middle of opposing forces. Those with this power animal are taught similar skills.
BALANCE!!!!!! It's like my mantra or something. It pops up in every description of me. I use it constantly when describing why something is bothering me. It is so important to me in every aspect of my life. And I am always in the middle of opposing forces, especially the opposing forces inside of myself.
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